Tuesday, January 30, 2007
Monday, January 29, 2007
Friday, January 26, 2007
Who are these people?!?! I have to know! Have you ever seen anyone do this, or have you ever thrown your shoes onto a tree? Please help me solve this mystery.
Thursday, January 25, 2007
This is the new canned phrase every publicist states about every celebrity undergoing tough times. Jessica Simpson was "the happiest she's ever been" while divorcing Nick Lachey, as was Jennifer Aniston after Brad dumped her for Angelina. And now we hear that Lindsay Ho-han is "the happiest she's ever been" in rehab.
I don't buy it. Here's the various ways I interpret the statement depending on the celebrity:
- She's nearly suicidal.
- She's coming off a week-long bender.
- She gained 10 pounds on an M&M eating binge.
- She shopped herself to near death.
- She's finding comfort in the bed of the nearest backup dancer.
- She's hanging out with Paris Hilton.
There's no "happiest-ness" to be found in any of those situations...but it's probably the reality.
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
1. (v.tr.) Using one's ability to annoy and irritate, at the same time.
Other annoyitating celebrities: Britney Spears, Paris Hilton, Lindsay Ho-Han
Saturday, January 20, 2007
- I was born on Easter Sunday
- My favorite month is October
- I hate Tuesdays
- I won a 3-point shooting contest in 8th grade for my school's basketball team
- I was an engineering major in college for about 10 minutes
- I say I like books, but I much prefer movies and TV
- I am a distant, poor relative of the Dole family who made a fortune on pineapples in Hawaii (my maternal grandmother's maiden name was Dole)
- I have a glass of chocolate milk almost every night before bed
- I still have both my tonsils and my appendix
- I don't like ketchup, mustard, mayonnaise, or anything considered a condiment
- I get homesick very easily (Seriously, when I'm in Niagara Falls, Ontario I look longingly across the river and can't wait to get back home. It's that bad.)
- I refuse to try to understand all the fuss about Harry Potter
- My digestive system does not like Indian food, and neither do my tastebuds
- One of my favorite things to do in the entire world is to see a fireworks display
- I have an insane memory. (For example, I actually still know my Ohio driver's license number, and I haven't lived in Ohio for over 5 years.)
- I believe in ghosts, but I hope to never see any in my entire life
- Lightening bugs fascinate me
- And finally, I know this is blasphemy, but I just don't like Starbuck's coffee
Thursday, January 18, 2007
I know I was smitten at first glance by Herbal Essences degunkifying shampoo once I saw the word "tingling." Then I read further and fell even more in love. The ingredients are...get this...icy pineapple and cotton leaf! I have no idea if icy pineapple and cotton leaf 1. exist 2. are good for hair or 3. are actually in the shampoo, but doesn't it sound cool?!
I have tested this product, and it does tingle. Not in a medicated dandruff shampoo way, but in a fun "I'm pampering myself with this awesome shampoo" way.
Here's a scenario where this product is just what you need... You have a hot date on Saturday night and want to look your best, so you pull out all the stops and use Paves Professional styling products to create a Good Hair Evening. The next day is Sunday. You had so much fun on your date you decide you deserve to stay in all day relaxing and having a movie fest--you never even get out of your pajamas. Monday morning, back to the grindstone. But you haven't washed your hair since Saturday night and it's now literally gunky, plus...you need a little pick-me-up because it's Monday Morning. You need to degunkify.
So I highly recommend this product. The only con is that there's no matching conditioner. Maybe Herbal Essences thinks that conditioner would re-gunkify your hair, but it's one of very few shampoos with no matching conditioner. One thing to look out for-- it tends to be on the shelves next to Herbal Essences "Drama Clean", which is also in a green bottle, so don't get confused. You want to tingle.
Men, since this product is not made by Pantene, it's OK for you to try too.
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
Monday, January 15, 2007
Thursday, January 11, 2007
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
Check out this picture of Kelly Clarkson if you dare from people.com's style blog. Wow... It looks more like a before and after of a woman who underwent a sex change rather than a "does she look better with or without makeup". It's kind of just cruel for People.com to even post this and ask which one looks better. Wow...
See why I'm all about beauty products?
Monday, January 8, 2007
I can't believe how much of my time is spent doing things that I don't even really want to do. I'm kind of a numbers person, and I often wonder exactly how much of my time is wasted by the crap of life, both avoidable and unavoidable. I'm sure it adds up to months, if not years. Off the top of my head, here are some things that, when I'm on my deathbed, I know I'll curse myself for wasting time on.
- Watching Season 8 of Beverly Hills 90210 (the Hilary Swank season)
- Time spent behind slow drivers on single lane roads (my biggest pet peeve)
- Every micro-second I spent in AP Chemistry
- The month I spent reading The Good Earth in 7th grade (there's something to be said for book banning; I wish this had been one of them).
- Time spent watching British humor trying to convince myself that it's funny when it's not.
- Every Mentos commercial I ever sat through (oddly entertaining on one hand, but a waste of time on the other).
- Time spent doing dishes and laundry (God do I hate doing dishes and laundry!)
- All the time that Norton and Windows Updates have taken out of my life when they usurp my computer.
- The two hours and change I spent in the theater seeing Mission Impossible.
- Waiting in waiting rooms.
- Getting stuck in conversations with people about boring crap and being too nice to implement an exit strategy.
What time will you want back when you're on your deathbed?
Sunday, January 7, 2007
Guys, you might switch from barber shops to salons if you knew that many strippers have day jobs working in beauty shops. It's true. (And if you think about it, it kind of makes sense in some weird way.) Anyway...
One Saturday I was out and about and stopped at a salon for a quick brow wax. I've had them a million times, and I'm not picky about who I see or where it's done so long as I leave looking more like Liz Taylor rather than Frida here.
As a walk-in (meaning no appointment, as many brow waxes are done) you're not going to get Vidal Sasson to tend to you. You're going to get the shampoo girl, the girl who sweeps up hair, or really any warm body with hands. Well this one day I got the known stripper in the salon--Amber, Autumn...something like that (you know it's a stage name, so I'm not exactly revealing her identity here). She had the fake boobs, gallons of makeup, glittery platform shoes--the whole deal.
So she takes me to the waxing room, we make salon small talk (no, I don't have kids; yes I've had my brows waxed before; no, I don't need any products; yes, I know how fabulous they are...) She finally starts to apply the wax, and everything's going as it should...until she puts the muslin strips on the wax to remove the hair.
Ideally, muslin strips should be on your skin for a fraction of a second during any waxing. You want them to just adhere to the wax, then quickly remove them. Well, you'd think that Amber/Autumn was wallpapering my face the way she applied the muslin. She took her time, she pressed it down, she rubbed it. Those strips were basically superglued to my brow. I knew I was in for a world of hurt.
I'll spare you the gory details, but let's just say that I left the waxing room looking like Rocky after the fight where Mick cut his eye. It. was. bad! I had to see my dermatologist the next day! I wore sunglasses for a week, even inside.
The irony is that you'd think strippers would know a lot about hair removal. Although I guess no one is really looking at their eyebrows...
Saturday, January 6, 2007
The emcee would, of course, be Carol Anne from Poltergeist to announce that "They're Heeere..." Michael J. Fox would get everyone in a party mood as Teen Wolf. Maybe he'd shoot some hoops or surf on top of a van to a little "Surfin' USA". Then we'd have a live aquatic show from Daryl Hannah as the mermaid "Madison" in Splash, followed by "Wax On, Wax Off" lessons from Mr. Miyagi of the Karate Kid (I and II, but we'll ignore III for it's obvious "Bogus!"-ness). Kim Cattrall as "Emmy" from Mannequin would do a little fashion show for us, and we would conclude with Maverick, Goose, Ice-Man and Slider recreating the volleyball scene from Top Gun.
I can picture it all in my mind and it's an A+ for sure.
Friday, January 5, 2007
I'm sorry, but this doll looks nothing like Teri Hatcher. This doll looks more like "Wishful Thinking" for Teri Hatcher. I know that I've targeted poor Teri not once, but twice--OK really three times on this blog. Truthfully she just really gets on my nerves. She has since she was on Lois & Clark, and especially when she guest starred on the "they're real and they're spectacular" episode of Seinfeld. She went away quietly for awhile, but lately she seems to be EVERYWHERE! And now she's a doll!? My tolerance is running low...
Thursday, January 4, 2007
These are from the Beauty Rush makeup line at Victoria's Secret. Each item is $7 or 3/$15. The lip glosses are very tasty (I have Grapefruit Blast). The eye shadows are wonderful. Long-lasting, blend well, easy to apply. I have 4 shades (Brown to Earth, Jet Set, After Midnight, & Too Too Pink) and would recommend any of them.
I wish I could say that they made you look like a Victoria's Secret model, but unfortunately they don't have those magic ingredients. But they're still worth a try.
Wednesday, January 3, 2007
A friend of mine who is an Average Joe-kind of guy has a new-ish girlfriend who is the Diamonds&Furs-type. One night during the October storm he and I were drowning our power outage woes in wine at a local establishment. Average Joe said that he was feeling very insecure with Diamonds&Furs, and that he was already stressing about potential Christmas gifts for her. Always one to come to the aid of someone in need, I told him a little story that I'd seen on General Hospital years and years ago.
Sonny Corinthos was being forced to marry Lily Rivera for mob business purposes. He did not love her, even though she loved him; but he respected her greatly. When Sonny proposed he quoted a beautiful passage from the Bible that said something like "a good woman is hard to find, and is worth more than diamonds." And so Sonny gave Lily a ruby engagement ring to signify that she was both a good woman and worth more than diamonds. I always loved that scene. Average Joe liked it too (even if it was from a soap opera, he added).
Well I saw Average Joe yesterday, and he was so excited to tell me that that he got Diamonds&Furs a ruby ring for Christmas, and that she absolutely loved it. He said he even used to whole "good woman" schpeel and that it was met with great success. Judging from the smile on his face, I think I know what she gave him for Christmas in return. Good deed accomplished!
And the moral of the story is that 1. it's a good idea to recommend gifts to clueless men, and 2. it's truly worthwhile to watch soap operas. This story is proof positive!
Tuesday, January 2, 2007
I'm not going to be crass and actually take bets on which one will go first (although there is a small part of me that thinks that would be really funny), BUT (and I will promise to do a big tribute when it happens) who do you think will be the first?