We're through

NaBloPoMo, I'm breaking up with you. I'm tired of your demands. I'm gonna blog when I want to blog.

The Best $4.25 I Never Spent

Cola Shampoo

Even I wouldn't have thought of this.

That's not to say that I don't want this badly;
I just wouldn't have thought of it.

Might Be the Night Fever

This 1985 photo of Princess Diana dancing with John Travolta at a ball thrown by Ronald Reagan has always boggled me. In fact, if this photo didn't pre-date PhotoShop (and there wasn't a ton of video footage of them dancing), I'd suspect it was fake.

Yes, strangeness abounds with this particular photo. As a quick example, there's the whole "Why is John Travolta at a White House function?" thing. His career had pretty much flatlined by this time (until Look Who's Talking came out in 1989). Can you blame us, really? I mean, we were still recovering from Staying Alive for crying out loud!

Also, there's the whole celebrity/politics thing. Perhaps it's just an urban legend, but I'm pretty sure that the universe falls out of alignment if a celebrity attends any kind of Republican function.

And while many celebrities often feel that they are royalty, actual royalty (and most Kennedys) hold no such illusions. To see the Princess of Wales even in the same room with Danny Zuko is very strange.

In fact, there are so many strange things about this scenario, that it creates a near "when pigs fly" phenomena. If not for this photo, I might walk around saying: "I'll stop eating meat when Vinnie Barbarino dances with the Princess of Wales on the floor of the White House!"

I'm Your #1 Fan

Excuse me, Mr. Elderflower Unperfumed Eye Gel--

can I have your autograph?

Simmering Inadequacy

There's nothin' like a little trip to Williams-Sonoma to make you realize how inadequate you, your kitchen, and probably your whole life are. I was there yesterday scoping out the outrageous new kitchen gadgets Santa might want to bring Martha Stewart. Let's see what I discovered...

A truffle shaver. I don't know how much this is, but I do know that truffles sell for about $130-380/pound. (Not bad for fungus.) Even at that price, does anyone really need a truffle shaver? Is there no other EXISTING tool that could do the job? [scratching head]

Moving on...


Aww, how cute. If you're gonna juice a lemon, I suppose having a little birdy helping could be kind of fun. But for some reason this thing reminds me of Lady Bird Johnson, and I just can't get past it.


Oh, here's something I actually really like and do want for myself:

A pink grapefruit cooking candle.

But not for $24.50!

After browsing all of the shelves, I left--empty handed--feeling like I've accomplished nothing in life. Maybe if I buy that truffle shaver, I will regain a little dignity.

Space Jam

Hi, NaBloPoMo, I'm kind of tired and was real busy today, so I am just posting a picture of some farm fresh jelly I bought this summer at at the Bidwell Farmer's Market. You and I both know that I'm only doing this to take up space and say I blogged today, but you did say that all I have to do is blog every day-- you never said it had to be good.

Shampoo for Teeth

I've been on a mission to take better care of my teeth. I'd like to keep them for awhile, and I figure that they're getting older, so they may need some extra T.L.C.

But, I'm also pretty lazy, so I was looking for something to take care of my teeth that takes little to no effort (preferably no effort). Well, leave it to Walgreens to inspire me. "Free" by "Register Rewards" last month was a giant bottle of Crest Pro Health mouthwash.

Side note: "Register Rewards" are an awesome secret at Walgreens. It's when you buy an item, and then you get a coupon for the total amount of that item that can be used for anything on your next Walgreens visit. In this case, I bought the mouthwash for $4.50 (minus $1.00 with a Crest coupon). Walgreens then gave me a coupon for $4.50 to use on anything my heart desired the next time I shopped at Walgreens (I'm sure my heart desired a new shampoo). Note, with the $1.00 Crest coupon, it was actually a profitable transaction!

Anyhoo, I've been using the mouthwash, and I have to say that I really like it. It's kind of fun, and I look forward to using it. It almost seems like shampoo for teeth, and so it makes me smile.

Honey I Shrunk the Kids' Pool

I took this photo at the Buffalo & Erie County Botanical Gardens recently, and there's something about it that I just love. For awhile I was unable to put my finger on exactly what I like so much about it. Then it hit me. It looks like it could be a swimming pool for the kids in Honey, I Shrunk the Kids!

Easy Off?

I am terrified of cleaning my oven. Does that make me crazy or lazy?

Seriously, I am afraid. Of what, I'm not sure. Perhaps blowing it up (even though it's electric); perhaps burning the skin off my hands with mysterious oven cleaning acid.

I'm not sure where this fear came from, but it is very deep-seeded. In fact, can I make a confession? I've never cleaned my oven. I've moved before I ever needed to, or someone else did it for me. In fact, how often are you supposed to clean an oven?

These are the things I think about while I should be cleaning my oven.

Colonel Mustard Electoral Map

The results are in on the Colonel Mustard vote at The Willful Caboose. Check it out!

We Interrupt This Broadcast...

...Beep...Beep....Beep

We interrupt the hysteria coverage of the 2008 Presidential election to bring you this important announcement: Buffalo Sabres coach Lindy Ruff is running for the nickname "Colonel Mustard" at The Willful Caboose, the New York Times's premier hockey blog.

I am proud to endorse Lindy Ruff to be nicknamed "Colonel Mustard." Ruff has been serving the Buffalo Sabres in all of his yellowness since 1997, and is frequently dressed in grilled cheese-hued clothing. Lindy originally hales from Canada, where the mustard might look the same, but probably tastes just a little different.

I urge you to make history on this day, and vote "Yay" on Issue Colonel Mustard.

Ode to Fall Back

Fall Back, your extra hour is more beautiful
than a blooming orchid.

Fall Back, your tranquility is like a Cosmo
drunk out of a pink polka dot glass.


Fall Back, your awesomeness surpasses that of a
polar bear doing the backstroke.


Fall Back, the joy you add to my life is like
the smile of this Canadian mannequin.


Fall Back, I love you...

"C" Is For Carrot, And That's OK With Me (In This One Case)

Hi, I'm here today to talk to you about carrots. Now, I know that this may seem strange after my recent post about the [still can't discuss it] soup, but it's OK. This time the veggies are in shampoo (and safe from eating).

Check out this beauty: Pampering Carrot Juice Shampoo by Yes to Carrots (available at Walgreens). [sparkle, audible "ding"]

Pamper your hair, it does. This is a completely perfect shampoo and highly recommended by me. I l.o.v.e. it.

In spite of its artificial Tang-like color, it is surprisingly healthy-feeling. And, not only does it have carrots in it, but also sweet potato and pumpkin. (Perfect for this time of year!)

Also, if you're like me and struggle to eat your veggies, I figure that you're bound to pick up a vitamin or two if your shampoo is made from carrots. So give it a try!

The Marlboro Raisin

Check out this piece of clipart I found...what the hell is it? A raisin smoking a carrot? That's what it looks like to me. (I've always said carrots are bad for you). If you put a cowboy hat on this raisin, the Marlboro Man would be out of a job.

K-Fed: Father of the Year

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This just in... America's Finest News Source, The Onion, has completed a hostile takeover of Details magazine and published a spoof issue declaring K-Fed "Father of the Year."

Un-ion

The English language sure can be contradictory at times. I had a discussion about this last night while spending some time with my boyfriend and his long-time friend at one of my favorite local establishments (I again recommend the London Broil should you ever dine there). Anyway, Boyfriend and Friend shared a theory with me developed when they were in high school that the word "union" should really be pronounced like "onion." The rules of phonics certainly seem to support this theory, so I indulged the idea in my mind, and this is what I came up with:

• The War Between the States was fought to preserve the Onion.
• Marriage is an onion between a man and a woman.
• Onions have been the source of many labor disputes, such as the current writer's onion strike.
• Many gay couples opt to partake in onion ceremonies since they cannot legally marry.
• Onion College was founded in 1795.
• Onion Pacific was one of the first railroads in the nation.
• Credit onions are a popular investment.

I think I like it!

Easter at Christmas?

Even though the turkeys are still warm from Thanksgiving, the Christmas season is officially upon us. One decoration I've seen this year that I just don't understand is the Lighted Soft Tinsel Yellow Bird. Nothing says "Ho Ho Ho" like a spring chick.

Thanksgiving Philosophy

So, today is Thanksgiving, and across the nation turkeys are being stuffed, pies are being baked, and cranberries are coming out of the can. It's a joyous time-- a day to let go of our worries from the other 364 days of the year (like expanding waistlines, overdue bills, and why the hell Marie Osmond is still on Dancing with the Stars). So, just for today, give yourself permission to let it all go, and get drunk on wine and egg nog. Happy Thanksgiving!

Carol's Earrings

Hey, look, the Metropolitan Museum of Art found Carol Brady's earrings that Cindy took during an adolescent moment and lost in a towel. Another Brady caper solved...