Un-ion

The English language sure can be contradictory at times. I had a discussion about this last night while spending some time with my boyfriend and his long-time friend at one of my favorite local establishments (I again recommend the London Broil should you ever dine there). Anyway, Boyfriend and Friend shared a theory with me developed when they were in high school that the word "union" should really be pronounced like "onion." The rules of phonics certainly seem to support this theory, so I indulged the idea in my mind, and this is what I came up with:

• The War Between the States was fought to preserve the Onion.
• Marriage is an onion between a man and a woman.
• Onions have been the source of many labor disputes, such as the current writer's onion strike.
• Many gay couples opt to partake in onion ceremonies since they cannot legally marry.
• Onion College was founded in 1795.
• Onion Pacific was one of the first railroads in the nation.
• Credit onions are a popular investment.

I think I like it!