Beauty Tip: Never let a stripper wax your eyebrows

I learned this the hard way...

Guys, you might switch from barber shops to salons if you knew that many strippers have day jobs working in beauty shops. It's true. (And if you think about it, it kind of makes sense in some weird way.) Anyway...

One Saturday I was out and about and stopped at a salon for a quick brow wax. I've had them a million times, and I'm not picky about who I see or where it's done so long as I leave looking more like Liz Taylor rather than Frida here.

As a walk-in (meaning no appointment, as many brow waxes are done) you're not going to get Vidal Sasson to tend to you. You're going to get the shampoo girl, the girl who sweeps up hair, or really any warm body with hands. Well this one day I got the known stripper in the salon--Amber, Autumn...something like that (you know it's a stage name, so I'm not exactly revealing her identity here). She had the fake boobs, gallons of makeup, glittery platform shoes--the whole deal.

So she takes me to the waxing room, we make salon small talk (no, I don't have kids; yes I've had my brows waxed before; no, I don't need any products; yes, I know how fabulous they are...) She finally starts to apply the wax, and everything's going as it should...until she puts the muslin strips on the wax to remove the hair.

Ideally, muslin strips should be on your skin for a fraction of a second during any waxing. You want them to just adhere to the wax, then quickly remove them. Well, you'd think that Amber/Autumn was wallpapering my face the way she applied the muslin. She took her time, she pressed it down, she rubbed it. Those strips were basically superglued to my brow. I knew I was in for a world of hurt.

I'll spare you the gory details, but let's just say that I left the waxing room looking like Rocky after the fight where Mick cut his eye. It. was. bad! I had to see my dermatologist the next day! I wore sunglasses for a week, even inside.

The irony is that you'd think strippers would know a lot about hair removal. Although I guess no one is really looking at their eyebrows...