Thursday, December 28, 2006

Men Elizabeth Taylor did NOT marry


Because, let's face it, it's a shorter list.
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1. Alfred Hitchcock (The gentleman preferred blondes.)
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2. Michael Jackson (Although it would have been a less strange marriage than his to Lisa Marie Presley and hers to Larry Fortensky.)
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3. Elton John (He was too jealous of her jewelry.)
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4. Kevin Bacon (But certainly she has a Bacon Number...in fact her Bacon number is 1 because Kevin performed at her Happy Birthday Elizabeth: A Celebration of Life in 1997.)
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5. Elvis (They probably slept together though. Who didn't Elvis sleep with?)
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6. Bill Clinton (Marrying a Republican maybe tainted her--oh, let's be real, he probably still tried to get in her pants.)
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7. Osama bin Laden (He withdrew his proposal after he realized she wasn't actually Egyptian.)
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8. Brad Pitt (But I'm sure the man dating the present-day most beautiful woman in the world would have been tappin' that if he weren't in diapers.)
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9. Rosie O'Donnell (Not for lack of Rosie trying.)
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10. Flavor Flav (She refused to answer to "Sparkleishious".)

3 comments:

t2ed said...

Kfed is our generation's Eddie Fischer though.

Reigning Frog said...

No way! Eddie Fischer could at least sing!

But, I'll give you that they're both losers...big time losers.

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