I'm glad I'm not a pioneer

I don't think I would be a very good one. I was a wreck for the 111 1/2 hours I spent without electricity during the October storm--what would I do for a lifetime without electricity out in the great frontier?

Pioneer days had to suck. No electricity, no hot water--or even running water!--no toilets, or heat, or cars, or air conditioning, or Internet, or computers, or satellite radio, or pizza, or iPods, or cell phones (I actually might like that though since I hate talking on the phone). And I imagine that shampoo, if pioneers had any, was scarce. Yeah, me and pioneer days would not be a good match. I know you supposedly can't miss what you don't have, but even if I'd never heard of shampoo I know I'd feel a yearning for something.

I'm truly not a particularly fussy person. I don't live in the lap of luxury, or even insist on it. But I know myself well enough to know my sanity relies on the following:

1. Bathing every day;

2. Having electricity so that I can watch General Hospital and blog;

3. Spending hot, humid days lazing around in air conditioning.

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That's all I ask for out of life. That's it. Just those three things.

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And that's why I'd be a terrible pioneer.