Now it all makes sense

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Brigitte Nielsen: I Feel Reborn After Rehab

"Special 'Guest' Stars" Aren't So Special Anymore

“Special Guest Star” is a term that has completely changed its meaning over the last 15 years. It used to be that shows would bring in a high caliber celebrity as a “Special Guest Star” for an episode or two during sweeps week, or for a season premier or finale. But lately it seems like every show has a main character listed as a “Special Guest Star.” What’s up with that?

It all started with Heather Locklear on Melrose Place. Aaron Spelling brought her on board to save the show from poor ratings, and it worked. Six seasons later, not only was she still on the show, but she was one of the main characters, and she was still credited as “Special Guest Star.” I’m sorry, Heather, but you ceased being a “guest” when you moved into a balcony apartment with a view of the pool.

We saw this phenomenon happen again on 90210 when Luke Perry reprised his role as Dylan in 1998. He got the “Special Guest Star” label, but he was neither “special” nor a “guest;” he was just his regular old character.

Recently I discovered another “Special Guest Star” label gone awry while watching the new SoapNet show “General Hospital: Night Shift” (I don’t want to digress, so I’ll post about this awesome GH spin-off another time). Anyway, Billy Dee Williams is credited as the a “Special Guest Star.” He plays a janitor who offers his cool, sage wisdom as people ride in the elevator with him. My guess is he’ll be in every episode, making him neither “special” nor a “guest.”

Side story: While I was watching a TV show with “Special Guest Star” Billy Dee Williams, I was also doing a crossword puzzle in which Billy Dee Williams was one of the puzzle answers. What are the chances of that!?

Pame-Lulu Anderson Lee

My dog Lulu gettin' it on with a couch cushion. The only thing missing is bad porn music.

Temporarily out of commission

Got in a knife fight last night with a loaf of crusty sourdough bread. The bread won. I spent the evening in the ER, and unfortunately there were no doctors who looked like George Clooney or John Stamos. As far as wounds and ER visits go, this is no big deal. Three stitches, no nerve or tendon damage. My typing is seriously affected, though, I'm finding as I hunt and peck this message out. So please forgive any lack of postings that may result. Happy 4th of July! I'm going to watch the Twilight Zone marathon on SciFi now...

Timmy Toupe

Saw a guy in a restaurant last night with a really bad toupe. It looked as natural as this:

BASTARDS!

Why do you have to be so delicious, Pepperidge Farm Chocolate Hazelnut Creme Filled Pirouette Rolled Wafers!?

Book Review

Don't Hassel the Hoff: The Autobiography

Don't read this unless you are stranded alone on a deserted island and it washes ashore after a typhoon and reading it would be the only thing keeping you from killing yourself, and you have a substitute for toilet paper.

Bunny Dog

Veganism gone too far...

You know you've spent too much time on a computer when...

...you have your hair up in a clip, then take the clip out because you think it will look better, then want the clip back in, and for one microsecond your brain says, "Just click 'undo'!"

Celebrity hobbies

I heard something yesterday that made me laugh. Apparently Bob Barker, game show host extraordinaire, is a student of Karate, and has actually even trained with Chuck Norris. Ha! I guess you never know what some people are capable of. Well, it got me thinking...what kind of hobbies do other celebrities have? For instance, does Kevin Federline do the New York Times Sunday crossword in crayon? Maybe Suzanne Somers is an amateur extreme cage fighter. With so many celebrities, there must be some with hobbies other than trying to make it into the tabloids. I came up with some possibilities below.

• Marilyn Manson, possible stamp collector?


• Jack Nicholson, ornithologist between roles?


• Martha Stewart, 250 average bowling score?


• JLo, does she hit the bingo hall when she's back at The Block?


• Sly Stallone, always trying to win Publisher's Clearing House?

I don't know for sure, but anything is possible. I do have it on good word that at least two other celebrities have unusual hobbies. Below you'll see David Hasselhoff with his Beanie Baby collection, and Wayne Newton knitting up a storm. Enjoy!