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Brigitte Nielsen: I Feel Reborn After Rehab

"Special 'Guest' Stars" Aren't So Special Anymore

“Special Guest Star” is a term that has completely changed its meaning over the last 15 years. It used to be that shows would bring in a high caliber celebrity as a “Special Guest Star” for an episode or two during sweeps week, or for a season premier or finale. But lately it seems like every show has a main character listed as a “Special Guest Star.” What’s up with that?

It all started with Heather Locklear on Melrose Place. Aaron Spelling brought her on board to save the show from poor ratings, and it worked. Six seasons later, not only was she still on the show, but she was one of the main characters, and she was still credited as “Special Guest Star.” I’m sorry, Heather, but you ceased being a “guest” when you moved into a balcony apartment with a view of the pool.

We saw this phenomenon happen again on 90210 when Luke Perry reprised his role as Dylan in 1998. He got the “Special Guest Star” label, but he was neither “special” nor a “guest;” he was just his regular old character.

Recently I discovered another “Special Guest Star” label gone awry while watching the new SoapNet show “General Hospital: Night Shift” (I don’t want to digress, so I’ll post about this awesome GH spin-off another time). Anyway, Billy Dee Williams is credited as the a “Special Guest Star.” He plays a janitor who offers his cool, sage wisdom as people ride in the elevator with him. My guess is he’ll be in every episode, making him neither “special” nor a “guest.”

Side story: While I was watching a TV show with “Special Guest Star” Billy Dee Williams, I was also doing a crossword puzzle in which Billy Dee Williams was one of the puzzle answers. What are the chances of that!?

Pame-Lulu Anderson Lee

My dog Lulu gettin' it on with a couch cushion. The only thing missing is bad porn music.

Temporarily out of commission

Got in a knife fight last night with a loaf of crusty sourdough bread. The bread won. I spent the evening in the ER, and unfortunately there were no doctors who looked like George Clooney or John Stamos. As far as wounds and ER visits go, this is no big deal. Three stitches, no nerve or tendon damage. My typing is seriously affected, though, I'm finding as I hunt and peck this message out. So please forgive any lack of postings that may result. Happy 4th of July! I'm going to watch the Twilight Zone marathon on SciFi now...

Timmy Toupe

Saw a guy in a restaurant last night with a really bad toupe. It looked as natural as this: