BASTARDS!

Why do you have to be so delicious, Pepperidge Farm Chocolate Hazelnut Creme Filled Pirouette Rolled Wafers!?

Book Review

Don't Hassel the Hoff: The Autobiography

Don't read this unless you are stranded alone on a deserted island and it washes ashore after a typhoon and reading it would be the only thing keeping you from killing yourself, and you have a substitute for toilet paper.

Bunny Dog

Veganism gone too far...

You know you've spent too much time on a computer when...

...you have your hair up in a clip, then take the clip out because you think it will look better, then want the clip back in, and for one microsecond your brain says, "Just click 'undo'!"

Celebrity hobbies

I heard something yesterday that made me laugh. Apparently Bob Barker, game show host extraordinaire, is a student of Karate, and has actually even trained with Chuck Norris. Ha! I guess you never know what some people are capable of. Well, it got me thinking...what kind of hobbies do other celebrities have? For instance, does Kevin Federline do the New York Times Sunday crossword in crayon? Maybe Suzanne Somers is an amateur extreme cage fighter. With so many celebrities, there must be some with hobbies other than trying to make it into the tabloids. I came up with some possibilities below.

• Marilyn Manson, possible stamp collector?


• Jack Nicholson, ornithologist between roles?


• Martha Stewart, 250 average bowling score?


• JLo, does she hit the bingo hall when she's back at The Block?


• Sly Stallone, always trying to win Publisher's Clearing House?

I don't know for sure, but anything is possible. I do have it on good word that at least two other celebrities have unusual hobbies. Below you'll see David Hasselhoff with his Beanie Baby collection, and Wayne Newton knitting up a storm. Enjoy!

My commentary on Paris Hilton's release from prison due to an "undisclosed medical condition"

5 Things I'm thankful for today

1. That Baklava is still delicious 2 days after you buy it from a Greek festival.

.

2. Waking up to a beautiful rainfall (resulting in much cooler temperatures).

.

3. Caress Morrocan body wash.

.

4. The genius who thought of Netflix.

.

5. The fact that Sally Jessy Raphael is no longer on TV everyday.

10 Things I Hate About Summer

No season is perfect, but it's usually winter that takes the brunt of everyone's seasonal misery. No one ever complains about summer, but--deep down--we all know it's not really as perfect as people think, and in fact there are things to complain about. Well, I'm going to do just that-- complain about summer; just get it out in the open right here, right now.

This paragraph is for General Hospital fans only...

To me, summer is like Robin Scorpio. Everyone thinks she's perfect, so if you're one of the few who dares to offer a criticism of her it's considered blasphemy. Yeah, Robin has many positive qualities, but if you're open-minded enough to realize it, you'll see that she can be damn annoying at times, just like summer.

So here begins my list of things I hate about summer:

10. Getting in a hot car! I can't stand it!

9. Losing precious beauty sleep! Who can sleep when it's 90 and humid? Not me. Even with A/C it's still too hot. I hate it.

8. Defrosted groceries! What a pain to grocery shop in the summer. Everything melts or rots in the 5 minutes car ride home. I hate it.

7. Carpenter ants! They're EVERYWHERE. Counters, bathrooms, cupboards, drawers-- the list is endless. I hate them.

6. Mosquito bites! There's nothing more annoying in life than continuously itchy skin (except maybe for Pauly Shore). I hate them.

5. Weeds! My whole backyard is a big weed that grows like Jack's beanstalk all summer long. I hate it.

4. Yellow Jackets! These carnivorous bastards always swarm around hamburgers and hot dogs. I hate them.

3. Flies! Inside, outside-- it doesn't matter, they're everywhere. Try to relax outside and you end up swatting flies as they chase you. I hate them.

2. Sweating! I don't like sweating, and it's unavoidable in the summer. I hate it.

1. Heat and Humidity! No wonder everyone's image of Hell is heat and flames. Some days in the summer, it's just to hot to live. I hate it.

Summer Beauty Staples

June 1st is the first day of summer in my book, which is a mixed blessing to me. I enjoy many many things about this fine season, but--truth be told--I hate heat. In fact, it makes me rather miserable. The only thing, besides A/C, that helps me cope is beauty products. Here are some I can't live without until September.

V05 Moisture Milks Blueberries & Cream shampoo. Nothing says summer like blueberries & cream! Wash your hair with this before heading out into the sun and your hair will smell pleasantly fruity all day. (Sorry men, like Pantene, creamy fruit shampoos are only for women.)

Purpose Gentle Cleansing Bar. A must have for facial cleansing in humid weather! I use it morning, afternoon, and night. It's much better than Neutrogena's facial cleansing bar.

Plain old Noxema. Forget saving it for sunburns. Use it anytime, anywhere on your body to cool off.

.

If all else fails in a need to beat the heat, sit inside an air conditioned room and watch General Hospital. It works, I swear!