We Interrupt This Broadcast...

...Beep...Beep....Beep

We interrupt the hysteria coverage of the 2008 Presidential election to bring you this important announcement: Buffalo Sabres coach Lindy Ruff is running for the nickname "Colonel Mustard" at The Willful Caboose, the New York Times's premier hockey blog.

I am proud to endorse Lindy Ruff to be nicknamed "Colonel Mustard." Ruff has been serving the Buffalo Sabres in all of his yellowness since 1997, and is frequently dressed in grilled cheese-hued clothing. Lindy originally hales from Canada, where the mustard might look the same, but probably tastes just a little different.

I urge you to make history on this day, and vote "Yay" on Issue Colonel Mustard.

Ode to Fall Back

Fall Back, your extra hour is more beautiful
than a blooming orchid.

Fall Back, your tranquility is like a Cosmo
drunk out of a pink polka dot glass.


Fall Back, your awesomeness surpasses that of a
polar bear doing the backstroke.


Fall Back, the joy you add to my life is like
the smile of this Canadian mannequin.


Fall Back, I love you...

"C" Is For Carrot, And That's OK With Me (In This One Case)

Hi, I'm here today to talk to you about carrots. Now, I know that this may seem strange after my recent post about the [still can't discuss it] soup, but it's OK. This time the veggies are in shampoo (and safe from eating).

Check out this beauty: Pampering Carrot Juice Shampoo by Yes to Carrots (available at Walgreens). [sparkle, audible "ding"]

Pamper your hair, it does. This is a completely perfect shampoo and highly recommended by me. I l.o.v.e. it.

In spite of its artificial Tang-like color, it is surprisingly healthy-feeling. And, not only does it have carrots in it, but also sweet potato and pumpkin. (Perfect for this time of year!)

Also, if you're like me and struggle to eat your veggies, I figure that you're bound to pick up a vitamin or two if your shampoo is made from carrots. So give it a try!

MacGyver's Halloween Costumes

I'm struggling with ideas for a Halloween costume. It's times like this that I wish I was more like Macgyver. I just know that he could turn some things I have around the house into an awesome get up. Look what he did last year, for instance.


He took some duct tape, Q-tips, and an old pair of moon boots and made this costume:

Chewbacca!

Word on the street is that this year he is going for this look...


...taking a banana clip, paper towels, and a stapler to dress as...Liberace!


I'm so jealous. This pales in comparison to my cat ears headband.

A Vegan Nightmare

One of my tiny daily joys when I get to work is receiving an email from a nearby restaurant listing the soups of the day. They are usually delicious and tasty sounding and make me smile. But today there was a new one-- a very bad one. And it has scarred me for life. Seriously, I'm afraid that I have some kind of post traumatic soup disorder. Today's soup was...oh, I can barely even type it...vegan Brussel sprout. [Aaahhhhh!]

I was so emotional after reading my morning email that I just had to find comfort. I looked at a lot of Google images of meat, checked People.com's headlines, and even thought about shampoo. But the thing that was finally able to calm my nerves was this lovely piece of winter apparel shown below-- a bacon scarf! Behold the healing powers of bacon...

My Favorite Dow Jones Photo

Of all the photos of stockmarket guys that CNN posts at 4:00:01 PM everyday, this one is my favorite. CNN has posted a veritable pantheon of investor emoticons over the last several weeks, from the guy in tears to the guy with his hands on his forehead in dismay. But this guy here--with his fast-food-menu-gazing style--seems to me to represent the average person. I love this guy. I'm gonna make this my new desktop.

LypSyl Lip Balm

I'm on a beauty product kick...

Free by rebate last month at Walgreens was this cute little lip balm that I had never heard of. I bought it (got my rebate) and have been using it every morning for about three weeks. I have to say, I like it. But the thing I like most, and the reason that I'm recommending everyone buy it, is because it has a tiny bee that you use to slide the lip balm up and down. It's too cute to be missed. Go buy some right now.

Beauty Product Review: Origins Peace of Mind

This is my current favorite beauty product in the entire world. (It's not even really a beauty product-- it's more of a "feel like you're at a spa when you can't afford to go" product). It's called Peace of Mind by Origins. It costs $10.00 and will last a super long time since you only use 3 drops at a time. It's pleasantly minty and tingly. You rub a few drops on your fingers, then massage the back of your neck or temples or forehead for instant (albeit fleeting) bliss.

Diaphragm Clip Art

My job requires me to search for a lot of clip art. Normal clip art-- nothing weird. But sometimes the results that come up from my perfectly normal searches just baffle me. Take this one, for example, (which came up after searching the word "gentle"):


WHAT is this? A diaphragm? The inside of an eyeball? An aborted fetus? Whatever it is, I suppose the hands are being gentle with it. But does it really matter?...

Me Me Me Me

So, I've been tagged by Flack and Proud to post random crap about myself. (I wasn't going to start doing that until NaBloPoMo, but this will give me a head start.) Here goes:

1. I love swimming pools. I don't own one, but it is my dream to own a maintenance-free one someday. I am the type of person who takes her bathing suit to a hotel just in case there's a pool. And I'm not shy about making friends with people who have pools, so be careful what you wish for if you invite me over and you own a pool-- I may not leave.
2. I do not eat the buns on hamburgers or hot dogs. Never have, never will. I acknowledge that it is totally weird, but cannot deny who I am.
3. I have an ongoing love affair with Walgreens. The exclusive shampoos, the weekly ad saver, the monthly rebates [swoon]-- they take my breath away.
4. I am a rabid Howard Stern fan. I've been listening to his radio show ever since I saw his movie in the '90's. I got Sirius satellite radio as a gift when Howard made the switch, and I still listen every day. I even leave the radio on while I'm at work so my pets can hear Howard.
5. Unlike many girls, I am not into shoes and jewelry. I mean, I own some of each, and they're nice, but they're just not as awesome as shampoo.
6. Where did the shampoo thing come from? I don't know. I've kind of always been into shampoo, but it really exploded once I lived on my own, and doesn't show any signs of slowing down.
7. I love to watch TV as I fall asleep. I find it very comforting. I especially love when I wake up in the middle of the night with plenty of time left to sleep. I'll turn the TV on, set the sleep timer for a half hour, and cuddle up with a Monk or Iron Chef America rerun on the DVR. Simple pleasures...