His Prerogative

Yesterday it was reported that Bobby Brown had a heart attack, but today the singer issued a statement denying any such nonsense. I'm so baffled by these mean reports about Bobby's ill health. I mean, look, Bobby is a real upstanding guy-- just ask Whitney.

You know, it's funny, there have been reports in the past that Bobby has done some very bad things, and he's had to deny those too. Extra-marital affairs, drug use, public intoxication, domestic violence, illegitimate children... Bobby said no to them all. And why shouldn't we believe him? It's not like he ever served jail time for any of these crimes.

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What would lead us to believe that Bobby had a heart attack anyway? He's the picture of mind-body-soul balance. Since he's never done drugs, there's no reason to believe that years of snorting coke would strain his heart.

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I, for one, believe you Bobby. I'll add your non-heart attack to a list with Michael Jackson denying that he's had plastic surgery, OJ affirming that he didn't kill anyone, and Bill Clinton not having sex with that woman-- Ms. Lewinsky. Don't worry, Bobby, I've got your back. Just get back to the studio and make more of that fabulous music of yours.