Must see Blog-TV

My dog Lulu, and her really great trick. (And, yes, she really is my dog.)

Things I'm certain I will never do

I'm familiar with the adage (and the Bond movie) "Never say never", but I think there can be some exceptions to that rule. I know myself pretty well, and I've compiled a list of things that I am fairly certain I will never do. Follow along if you wish:

• Become a vegetarian-- I have nothing against vegetarians, but I know that I can never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever be one. As it is, I'm like the opposite of a vegetarian-- a "meatatarian".
• Live in Africa-- Brangelina I am not. I don't do well with heat, scarce plumbing, and lack of English-speaking peoples.
• Play a musical instrument-- What's a treble clef?
• Shave my head-- what would I do with all my shampoo?
• Not shave my legs or armpits-- not even if I travel to France.
• Stop watching General Hospital-- it's been on for 44 years, so chances are good it will be on for the rest of my life.
• Run a marathon-- beside the fact that DD-cup sports bras really don't work, I don't see what is so fun about running. In fact, there are few things in life I hate more than running.
• Complete a Sunday New York Times crossword puzzle-- I'm convinced that nobody is that smart.
• Understand the ending of Indochine-- "The heel broke on my shoe." WTF!?!?

What are you pretty certain you will never do?

When was the last time Ethan Hawke showered?

I'm just curious. I know it hasn't been in this millennium. I've been looking through Google images of him, and I really think Dead Poet's Society in 1989 could be the last time he showered. What made him stop? Is there such a thing as a fear of showers-- is he a showerphobe? Or maybe he's on an eternal camping trip? Could he be on a shower strike to promote world peace? I must know-- what is the reason he stopped showering!?!?

Anyone have any inside info they can share?

My next conquest

I must have this as my next new shampoo... L'Oreal VIVE Pro Nutri Gloss. What's not to love? Pink bottle, infused with pearl proteins, makes hair as soft as cashmere.

Oh, yes, I will have this. It is my destiny.

Headline: "Heather Mills: Unlikely My Leg Will Fly Off..."

on Dancing with the Stars."

Shouldn't the headline read: "Heather Mills Turns Down Dancing with the Stars"?

I mean, can we really watch her do a quick step and NOT think "Oh, my God, her leg is going to fall off!" It's like watching Sammy Davis, Jr. singing, and ignoring his melodic voice as you wonder, "Which one is the glass eye?!"

OPI Celebrity Nail Polish?

OPI nail polish is fun and awesome. Besides being a fantastic beauty product, it also has clever names for each color, such as "All Lacquered Up", "The Grape Lakes", "OP-I Love this Color!" and many more. Check them out! (After you read this post of course...)

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Each season OPI launches a new themed line of colors. Past themes include Mexico, Great Britain, and some non-country things that I can't remember right now. Well, of course I think that they should launch a celebrity line, and I've taken the liberty of naming some possible colors here on my blog. See what you think...

• Drew BERRY-more
• CARAMEL Electra
• PUNCH Drunk Lohan
• BALDer than Britney
• Fergie-liciously FUSCHIA
• JUSTIN time for the Oscars

And for kids...

• CANDY-APPLE Martin
• VERY-VIOLET Affleck
• Since when is Lola short for Lourdes?!

I'm sure I'll think of more. Is it obvious that my dream job is to think of nail polish color names for OPI?

Sweeps Week: Guess What? I'm Gay!

This portion of Sweeps Week is brought to you by:
Speed Stick Deodorant.

Speed Stick Deodorant...
We're trying to get Matthew McConaughey to use it.

Continuing with Sweeps Week... If you're a celebrity, coming out of the closet is guaranteed to land you the cover of People magazine. Here's a few that surprised me:

• Doogie Howser (sometimes a.k.a. Neil Patrick Harris)
• Lance Bass (I said I was surprised, OK!)
• George Takei (I only know George in the context of his guest appearances on The Howard Stern Show, but I understand it was a big deal to hear that Sulu is gay.)
• Jodi Foster (I'm discovering that a lot of people don't realize she's gay, but she is.)
• Rock Hudson (Perhaps the #1 shocker of all time)
• Mike Brady (Robert Reed)
• And, finally, in spite of wearing outfits like these, I was floored to hear that George Michael is gay. (It was the '80's, what did we know?)

Who did I miss?
(And don't you dare say Rosie O'Donnell;
it would have only been big news if she wasn't gay.)

Sweeps Week: Who's Your Daddy?

This portion of Pop Culture Sweeps Week is
brought to you by
Pantene Ice Shampoo and Conditioner.

Pantene Ice...Nice!

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Today for February Sweeps Week we review surprise celebrity pregnancies and paternities revealed. Remember these, "Oh my God?!" moments?

• Melissa Etheridge's baby's sperm donor revealed as David Crosby (Did you do a tox screen first, Melissa?)
  
• Howard K. Stern claims to be the father of Anna Nicole Smith's newborn daughter (if you watched the Anna Nicole Show on E!, then you were probably weirdly interested in this story. I know I was.)*
  
• Surprise Gwen! Gavin Rossdale's godchild is really his daughter!
  
• Michael Jackson supposedly procreates, begging the question (literally) "Who's your Daddy?"


• Most beautiful adulterers in the world name their lovechild Shiloh

Anyone else that grabbed your attention?

*I posted this before the news broke of Anna Nicole's sudden death. What sad news. Poor Sugar Pie.

Back in time for February sweeps

Due to life happening all around me, I've been on a forced blog hiatus, but I'm back just in time for February sweeps. Lost returns tonight, General Hospital is Day 8 into a dramatic, "real time" storyline, and of course, the Super Bowl aired this past Sunday.

So I started thinking, 'Is there such a thing as sweeps week for blogs? If so, what would it be like? Shocking revelations? Declarations of love?' Unfortunately my life isn't exciting enough to warrant high ratings for a blog sweeps week, but I think it might be worthwhile to revisit some shocking pop culture moments in honor of sweeps week. Consider this the first post in a week-long series.
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Illness & injury...not even celebrities are immune. Here's a list of some "Oh my God!" celebrity illnesses and injuries revealed.

• Pam Anderson has Hepatitis-C
• Michael Jackson catches fire while filming a Pepsi commercial
• Michael J. Fox diagnosed with Parkinson's disease
• Magic Johnson HIV positive
• Christopher Reeve paralyzed in riding accident

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Anyone else come to mind?

I TOLD YOU SO!

SHAMPOO MAY BE GENDER BENDER:
OILS LINKED TO BREAST GROWTH IN BOYS
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I have long feared that men would not heed my warnings that certain shampoos are just not intended for use by males, and now look what's happening...little boys using the wrong shampoos are developing boobs. I knew this day would come, and now it's here. I'll do what I can to help, but you should have listened sooner. My next post will list male-safe shampoos, but I may not be able to get to it until this weekend. In the meantime, guys, you may need to do some bra shopping.