Saturday, December 13, 2008

Senator Nanny Fine?


Miss Fine!

In what sounds like a rejected script from the TV show The Nanny, Fran Drescher is tossing her DKNY hat (bought on sale at Loehmann's, no doubt) in the ring to replace Hillary Clinton as the junior Senator from New York state.

Wuh?

I don't support the idea anymore than Mr. Sheffield would, and here's why:

  • Since Roger Clinton is the Sheffield's neighbor, Hillary will still be in the picture. Hillary and C.C. have a lot in common-- namely that nobody can stand either of them.
  • The probability is high that Fran will wear disguises to gain access to congressional meetings that she's not invited to. That may work in catching a husband, but not in governing a nation.
  • Fran has a known Doppelgänger (Bobbi Flekman), so we would always be wondering if the real Fran Fine is standing up.
  • As Mr. Sheffield can attest, Fran has a knack for losing precious documents (such as an original excerpt of Shakespeare). Could she really be trusted near the Constitution and Declaration of Independence?
  • Fran is easily swayed by the mere mention of Barbra Streisand's name; therefore we can assume that she's an easy target for bribery.
I think with these reasons (and many others) it's abundantly clear that the U.S. Senate is no place for a nanny.