K-Fed: Father of the Year

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This just in... America's Finest News Source, The Onion, has completed a hostile takeover of Details magazine and published a spoof issue declaring K-Fed "Father of the Year."

Un-ion

The English language sure can be contradictory at times. I had a discussion about this last night while spending some time with my boyfriend and his long-time friend at one of my favorite local establishments (I again recommend the London Broil should you ever dine there). Anyway, Boyfriend and Friend shared a theory with me developed when they were in high school that the word "union" should really be pronounced like "onion." The rules of phonics certainly seem to support this theory, so I indulged the idea in my mind, and this is what I came up with:

• The War Between the States was fought to preserve the Onion.
• Marriage is an onion between a man and a woman.
• Onions have been the source of many labor disputes, such as the current writer's onion strike.
• Many gay couples opt to partake in onion ceremonies since they cannot legally marry.
• Onion College was founded in 1795.
• Onion Pacific was one of the first railroads in the nation.
• Credit onions are a popular investment.

I think I like it!

Easter at Christmas?

Even though the turkeys are still warm from Thanksgiving, the Christmas season is officially upon us. One decoration I've seen this year that I just don't understand is the Lighted Soft Tinsel Yellow Bird. Nothing says "Ho Ho Ho" like a spring chick.

Thanksgiving Philosophy

So, today is Thanksgiving, and across the nation turkeys are being stuffed, pies are being baked, and cranberries are coming out of the can. It's a joyous time-- a day to let go of our worries from the other 364 days of the year (like expanding waistlines, overdue bills, and why the hell Marie Osmond is still on Dancing with the Stars). So, just for today, give yourself permission to let it all go, and get drunk on wine and egg nog. Happy Thanksgiving!

Carol's Earrings

Hey, look, the Metropolitan Museum of Art found Carol Brady's earrings that Cindy took during an adolescent moment and lost in a towel. Another Brady caper solved...

Bee-autiful

Would it surprise anyone if I said I wanted this honey shampoo? I do-- badly. It would match my runny honey bodywash so perfectly! And combined with my chocolate shampoo...oh my God!

Wishlist!

Happy 1st Birthday to My Blog!

The Rumer Mill

I heard it through the grapevine that Rumer Glenn Willis is actually a transgendered Charlie Brown come to life. I didn't really believe this, but it was confirmed by playing the telephone game with a friend at recess, so it must be true.

Regardless of whether or not Rumer is a SHim Charlie Brown, one thing is certain-- she is a classic butterface.

(Advice to Rumer: Honey, put your Mom's plastic surgeon on speed dial. Luckily, money is no object.)

A Warning to Turkeys Everywhere

Things I hate for no particular reason, but I hate them

The creepy CBS eye logo

Busosines

Writing the lower case letter "g"

Trucker gear as a fashion statement

The symbol for the bass cleff (treble is so much prettier)